Tag Team Dream Pt 1 – Dream 1

Another typical church setting with the ordained one coming to church was what the core dreamed about as she slept. This one was different though. Days before, it was a setting where she desired the ordained one coming back to church and coming back into her life. A setting where the ordained one would apologize for hurting her and would tell her God told her to come back and work with her. But on this one, it wasn’t that pleasant.


Before church even started, she was hiding the torment of seeing her adopted mother across the room. It was difficult to resist running to her and sitting behind her or next to her during service like she used to. At this point in her life, she had moved to the other side of the church to sit behind the attempt of a replacement. The teddy bear missionary that the Lord had placed inside her walls unexpectedly was her attempt at replacing the ordained one. When more people showed up in church, she took that opportunity to move.


The praise team had gotten up to start singing praise and worship songs, to set the atmosphere for the speaker. With getting off work just hours before after being up for so long, the core suffered from fatigue and she struggled to stay awake. There was no amount of caffeine that could help her at that point; her body was actively shutting down in the dream. She diligently fought to stay awake; she did not want to fall asleep with the ordained one there. Not only was sleepiness trying to take her over, rejection and obsession were talking to her. Rejection spoke in one ear, obsession in the other.


“You can tell it can’t you? She doesn’t return your love nor is she interested in it. What about all the times she cancelled on you? How about all the times she rescheduled? She’s sitting over there not even sorry she stood you up and left you high and dry. Look at her, she isn’t even thinking about you at all and here we are putting her in the spotlight of your mind. Why do you love her when she has done all this to you with no remorse?”


While the tormenting guards talked to her, service moved on. The worst addition to the dream was that the ordained one had gotten up to sing a song as well. She loved to hear her adopted mother sing. In the natural, she has two songs that she has recorded while the ordained one sang and one of them she periodically puts it on repeat for hours.


“All you really want from her is to spend time with her; to not screw up this relationship anymore. You want redemption. After all, you claim you’ve changed and you believe you have changed enough. She won’t forgive you like Christ has. Her unforgiveness leaves you repenting to him over the same thing. How many times have you repented? How many times have you repented with tears? From the heart? Because she won’t forgive you, you don’t think he will. Sad thing is, she has never lied to you when she said she forgave you. What was it, one time she said she forgave? The rest she never even let you know she heard you. You’re too scared to even voice all of this to her. Too scared she will hurt you more and give me more power. There are a lot of things she sees and hears about what is going on without you speaking a word. Who knows, she may know how you feel and she won’t even show you.”


Though they were talking to her, the core pushed to keep on praising the Lord and not letting the thoughts tear her down. Suddenly the dream shifted past the message, skipping it, all the way to the alter call.


“Audri come up here. I’ve been hearing it all service, you love Elizabeth. You truly love her. Elizabeth come here too.” The core’s pastor looked very serious, as if he wanted to say something but needed to find the right words to say it. “I hear that you two are intertwined together. Despite being against you working together, God is saying don’t give up on Audri. Elizabeth, don’t give up on Audri. I’m not involved in this go around; I can’t take it. There needs to be forgiveness and repentance between you. Start over with a clean slate and do not come complaining to me about anything. Elizabeth, give Audri some time. I heard the rejection right before you left, when you would cancel and reschedule on her. Whatever the circumstances may be, she felt rejected. There are no words to describe what she deals with in that area now, all focused around you. Any anger or frustration you have towards each other, forgive.


I also hear that Audri no longer trusts you Elizabeth. I’m hearing that you left too early and you were just days away from seeing the fruit of your labor. But Audri, everything has happened for a reason. Even the pain of her thinking her assignment was over with you has a purpose. You know what that is don’t you?” She looked puzzled but nodded. “What do you think the purpose is?”


“Trial of my love for the Lord. Maybe even a trial to see who I love more, her or him.”


“How do you think you did?”


“I know I failed the first time around. Pretty sure I failed the second time as well.”


“Well yea. Do you know what has happened over the past few months though? There’s been a change in your mindset since you failed the second time. I told you that week that you had no push and now if you were faced with the same trial, you would pass. Why? Because now your focused and your becoming stable in God. I know you don’t like hearing this but ‘keep doing what your doing’. Elizabeth, you need to open up your eyes and see her progress. We pick on her for the small Chinese eyes that she has but right now you are blind to her progress. That needs to change. Just work with her and watch her. You don’t know it but there are still a lot of things you need to impart into her and you can’t if you keep her at a distance and you keep yourself too busy to deal with her. You two can sit down now.”


That scenario ended and the core tossed in her bed through it. She rolled over, woke up for a drink of water, and went back to sleep.


~ by davisddesigns on May 27, 2015.

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