Addiction Breakthrough

Before I post the Monday recap, I want to take this post and talk about another addiction freedom. Back when I was writing the addiction posts, I ended that “series” by saying I’m free from addiction to McDonalds food. Just so you know, I’m still free from McDonalds. I’ll be staying free too. Yes over the past couple weeks there was an increased spike in frequency due to timing, not knowing what else to eat and craving but its not an addiction. The longer I stay away and then go back, the more I wonder why I’m going back. None of the food is healthy, none of it’s really “real” and the taste quality is dropping. I don’t eat the buns on the burgers anymore it seems like, I don’t eat the fries anymore and the chicken nuggets are too expensive to even consider buying. So yes, the more I go back the more I question “why?”

 

I’m kind of searching for a flavored drink so I could drink water and something with flavor. Want to go back on tea but the only tea I know for sure that I like is McDonalds tea. This is how I know for sure I’m free from McDonalds – even the tea doesn’t taste good anymore. There are two stores within a 2-mile radius of each other on the same street and one is right across the street from where I work. They switched to the pipe system and that has really messed up their tea. So I don’t go there, I go to the other one that hasn’t upgraded. Sad thing about it is, they can’t upgrade anything and I can’t remember why. Good thing is the quality of tea should be better but even that one doesn’t taste good. I really don’t know if daytime tea just isn’t good because by the time afternoon hits, the tea has been sitting out for too long or what. All I do know for sure is that when I go in the middle of the night and go inside, I taste the unsweet to see if its good or bad. If it’s bad, I complain and wait for a fresh brewed unsweet tea that I can mix the sweet into.

 

What do I do when my favorite tea supplier doesn’t even have good tea anymore? My mentality about everything has changed and I’ll get more into that in the recap but still. Some tea is healthy while others aren’t and I don’t know how the healthy teas taste. Keep hearing green and oolong tea is good but I’m very peculiar about my tea. I don’t drink unsweet and I can’t drink it too sweet anymore and I haven’t found the happy medium yet. Haven’t found a sweetener I like to add to the tea either. Home tea is going to take a lot of experimentation, a lot of time, and a lot of money before I can truthfully find something that works with me.

 

So here is how my addiction list goes – I was addicted to everything sugar. Slowly but surely I started to weed out the sugary food and it switched over into liquid sugar. Started drinking a ton of coca cola and in that was McDonalds coke, Jones Soda, Cherry Coke, Coke, Coke Zero, and lastly Cherry Coke Zero. More or less, I went on a very long binge of coke and the rate of consumption with the quantity of consumption should have and probably did some damage. If it was alcohol that I was drinking instead of coke, I would be dead of blood poisoning.

 

One day I ran out of insulin on my pump and didn’t bother to change out the insert before going to work. I was drinking coke and no insulin to cover it. As the day went on, I kept drinking more and more and I just started to get sick. Went home, took the bottle of insulin in that was out in the car, and changed out my injection site. What I didn’t know at the time was the fact that the bottle of insulin went bad. I can’t remember if the temperature was too cold or too hot but I do remember that the temperature exposure ruined it. My thinking was “it’s a fresh bottle, I can use this and I need to get it out of the car anyways”. For those readers who don’t know, I was classified as a type one diabetic and I am chained to an insulin pump. Those who don’t know what an insulin pump is, basically in a nutshell it’s a portable IV. The pump can hold up to 300 units of insulin per change out and yes I go for the max so I don’t have to change out as much as they say to.

 

That day I ended up pumping 300 units of insulin into my system all in one setting and nothing changed. I learned a valuable lesson – bad insulin is like poison. Being anti doctor and as stubborn as I am, I tried to sit through it and wait it out but I was getting worse and worse. Over the course of 13 hours I was vomiting every 15 or 20 minutes with or without anything in my stomach. My body was dehydrated and right at the time where I finally got to a place where I could lay there and go to sleep and not get up to vomit, grandparents decided enough was enough and they dragged me to the hospital. Needless to say, I wasn’t happy they decided to move me right when I started to settle down and when we got to the hospital I had to be rolled in on a wheel chair. I couldn’t walk. I was alert enough to try to get a drink from the fountain, was alert enough to go through the stabbings in attempts to find a workable vein to put an IV in and after that, I don’t remember much. Apparently friends at work stopped by because I woke up one time to vomit back out whatever they were giving me through the IV and I remember seeing a card or two on the table. The next couple days I saw one of those friends and he said I was loopy and just in and out of consciousness when he was there.

 

I started to piece things together and I thought it was all from the soda binge so I decided I was going to stop cold turkey. Later I found out that in extreme temperatures insulin can go bad and then connections were made. It wasn’t just the soda but a combination of no insulin the night before, the soda, and then the bad change out of pumping the bad insulin in. That decision to drop soda changed the addiction from soda to McDonalds sweet tea. I went from 1 every few days to 3 every day. After later on learning about spirits of addiction, I began to realize that I switched one addiction out for another. Truthfully, that’s really all I’ve done with this spirit is switch from one to another. Later I switched from tea to ultimately monster energy drinks. Coffee, Sunny D, and Hawaiian Punch had their go but they were more like small binges and didn’t last long for an overall addiction setting.

 

For the past 6 months to a year I’ve been addicted to Monster energy drinks. Even after hearing about the deaths that are blamed to be in connection with them, I still drink them. But you know what? There’s a change in me now. I don’t know when it began to happen but there was a ball set in motion and it’s rolling. I went from 3 a day to 2 and stayed at 2 in a 5-hour time period for a long long time. As the months dragged on, I’ve noticed recently that I dropped from 2 every 5 hours to 2 every 10 hours. Now I’m basically at one a day and that one makes me sick to my stomach and it has other side effects. I feel worst when I eat really healthy food and then add that toxic concoction to the mix. It may be a lot slower than the breakthrough from McDonalds food but I am being delivered from addiction to energy drinks. Not only that, addiction as it is. I’m not really looking for another drink to replace these and I don’t have any other drinks in the line up to take its place when it goes. I drink Monsters and water and that’s it 99.9% of the time. If anything, my water intake is going to go up. I don’t know when this started to happen but I believe God is behind it. Not only freedom from these but my view / perspective about health overall is changing by turning over one stone at a time. When my will is over run by spirits and they basically tell me its not my will to stop this and that and yet I’m watching myself stop, all I can do is give God the glory. Scripture says in Psalms that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. I know something about that from personal experiences.

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~ by davisddesigns on June 10, 2013.

 
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