Ramifications Of Tuesday Night To Now

Ok here’s the continuation of the last post. In the last post along this thought process I had just described a man of God and how he shows that he loves people. Just think on what I said last post too. Free counseling during the week. Here’s the last paragraph for this testimony broken up in two:

 

The reason “work” is in quotations is because I can’t really describe it the right way. Ministering to the people, counseling to the people and doing what they can for the people is what they do. They fix up whatever building they meet in, make sure the grass is cut and so forth. I don’t know if that’s considered work or not. If you find one that believes in fasting and the power there of, they also fast on the people’s behalf. Most importantly, they don’t ask the people for anything if they can help it. I’m blessed to have sat under one for 2 years and to be put under another just like him in that retrospect. 

 

Needless to say, I can see the love quite obviously. I’m responding to it with love, the best way I can and know how. This minister I care for greatly and I really do want to support him according to scripture. Finding out what goes where was important to me. I don’t want to pay tithes and him not see any percentage of it. That’s how I feel about obeying the scripture on tithing and the fact I want to feed the ox that ploweth the field. Scripture says not to muzzle them. To me that means, “don’t make the minister serve you, lay himself out there in the spotlight for you, bare the weight of your soul on his shoulders, suffer with you; basically give himself to you for free”. If he knows how to feed you good spiritual food, don’t take it and basically spit in his face. You pay the guy at the hot dog stand money to make you a hot dog; same philosophy. Now if the preacher is money hungry, fame and fortune seeking whoremonger (in the spirit), I don’t support giving them anything. They don’t care if you make it or not, they just want your money and they’ll tell you whatever you want to hear so you give bigger “tips”.

 

With that being said; by the end of the work night I called the first pastor’s widow and talked to her. Talked about the tithing, talked about the arguing and when we got on that subject she more or less rebuked me. After that conversation, I felt like two inches tall.   That worked on me too. Went home and started to feel “lovey dovey”. Don’t ask me how a rebuke puts me in a loving mood but hey, it might have. While in that mood, I also made the decision to apologize to grandma. Bad thing was the fact she was asleep. Once before when she was asleep, I woke her up and she basically got mad at me for doing so. Remembering that, I left her alone and went back to my room.

 

First lady was online and I told her “I think I’m in a lovey dovey mood” and told her I wasn’t sure I had ever experienced it before. She told me it was euphoric and I told her I didn’t know what that was like. After that I started describing how I was feeling. Thinking about Jesus made me happy, made me shy, and I wanted to blush. I wanted to cover my face and smile. I wanted to get to know him, I wanted to hear from him, I wanted to talk to him yet I was at a loss for words.  Sitting in his presence would have made me happy and I wanted to tell him I loved him. Not really the same as being wooed by him. I was happy, I was basically at peace and I just wanted to lie there and soak it in. Literally did not know what to say in prayer except “I love you”. Happily, I said more than just that. Basically all of this that I just described (minus the prayer), I told her that and she said, “yea that’s what it’s like”.

 

I don’t know what happened Tuesday but I do know that I have changed. The moments I was in that loving mood and prayed to God the way I prayed had an affect on me. I felt it Wednesday night, felt it last night and felt it tonight. I feel freer than I did Monday and I don’t even know what I’m free from. In my list of worship songs, some of them sing that they love God. When I sang along to those lyrics tonight, I started smiling and wanting to cry happy tears. Again, I wanted to hide my face in shyness. Wherever I’m at in God, in my spiritual walk with him, it’s amazing. As amazing as it is, I know there’s more I have not even touched on yet. There’s a place higher in him that I’m reaching for and I know it’s better than what I have now. I just said what I have is amazing and I’m already stating that I know there’s a better experience with him. What words are there to describe something beyond amazing?

 

“If you want more, work with what you got and God will give you more”. Larry said that to me one time. He also talked about being in the center of God’s will and how that’s the safest place to be. Not only do I want a closer, deeper, more intimate relationship with him that surpasses what I am feeling now, I want the safety of being in the center of his will. For that, I need to work with what I have and that I shall do and possibly am doing. These past few days have been “wow”.

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~ by davisddesigns on May 18, 2013.

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