Addiction Testimony

I’m done with all the kinds of addictions I know about. All that writing I’ve done and all that work just for this one post.  I’ve confessed over the course of this series that I am addict of food and electronics. This post is about a testimony over addiction and no it’s not about electronics.

 

Back in the hateful post about alcohol, I think I made the connection that a curse of poverty is tied in with drinking. In fact, I know I did because I remember pointing out those who are always working to break even but can’t. I believe addiction as a whole brings a curse of poverty upon the person and their seed but I can’t prove that. I just know, alcoholism in my bloodline leaves a curse of poverty and I seem to suffer from it.

 

When I wanted to write this post, I was going to testify to the fact that I was able to save this set amount of money. It was a lot for me at the time because of how I’m always barely making it by from Wednesday to Thursday. I was looking at getting credit card debt free from both credit cards and I was also looking at getting the funds for the bank loan. Life happened. I found myself in a wreck and that put a $500 deductable on my bill and then I started using a credit card again. I am back up to roughly $800 in debt not counting the bank loan I have not finished paying off. Altogether, that leaves me at $1300 – $1400 in debt still. In 4 weeks I graduate from college and that leaves me 6 months before I start paying back student loans. My student loans are $65,000 for two colleges. That’s before all the interest charges start to activate. The longer it takes me to pay that off, the more I’ll be paying. I really would like to find some way to deal with that so I don’t end up paying $200,000 to $300,000 in student loans. Poverty is really active and really strong in my life between the personal debt and the student debt. That’s not including a car, car insurance or a house. I don’t pay rent for an apartment because I don’t live in one, I still live at home and I hate it. The only benefit to being at home is it’s a tad bit cheaper. Even though its cheaper, it doesn’t solve the situation I’m staring at.

 

Just the same, this is a testimony. My testimony is about food. I used to claim I was a McDonalds addict. When I claimed that, I wasn’t lying. Daily I went for a double cheeseburger or for tea. If I didn’t go daily for the burger, I went every other day. Some times I went twice a day as well. I would get three burgers at a time and made sure each one was different so the person in drive thru wouldn’t figure out that it was me who was going to eat it all. By that time, I started to feel ashamed at what I was eating and how much of it I was eating. Really there was no end in sight but that didn’t stop me.

 

I started to pray to God, thanking him for the food and thanking him for the day I wouldn’t be praying over that food anymore. When I would go out for Chinese, Japanese, or Subway, I would thank him that it wasn’t McDonalds. Meals at home I started to thank God for the fact they were at home meals. I also thanked him that it wasn’t McDonalds. I don’t know how long I prayed like that but the more I prayed, the less and less of a desire I had for that food.

 

Today I can say that I am no longer a McDonalds addict. I ended up setting aside a just one day for McDonalds. One day a week is the only time I’ll even consider eating it and for some reason, that day has fallen to Sundays. Sunday was two days ago and it was 11 PM when I had McDonalds. There was no care for it through out the day and the main reason I even went for it was out of habit. No desire to actually eat it other than out of habit and boredom. In all honesty, I believe I can go a month without it. I don’t even seem to like their tea anymore and that was a big part of the addiction. Not drinking it for a while has really changed my taste buds. I buy a large glass of tea and don’t even drink but a few ounces of it. I pay a dollar and end up drinking maybe ten cents worth of my money. My taste buds have gotten particular too, I sip of the unsweet tea to see if it’s good before I mix it with the sweet. The unsweet is good but the cup mixture still isn’t. So it’s the sweet tea that ruins the cup. Still to this day I do not like straight unsweet tea. There has to be sweetener in it. That don’t take away from the fact I barely go to that restaurant anymore.

 

However, I am eating more Chinese. As McDonalds decreased, the desire for spring egg rolls increased. Chinese is roughly $10 a visit where as McDonalds was at most $5 a visit. Why can’t I get on a cheap addiction? What I really need to do is start praying to eat at home more often. That will solve that problem and then I’ll work on these energy drinks I’m addicted to that takes $4 out of my pocket every weekday. In all seriousness, I praise God that I am no longer tied down to that restaurant and its food.

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~ by davisddesigns on April 2, 2013.

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